POUND THIS!
“Please enter your partner ID and press POUND.”
After a few more equally logical sounding queries, I speak to a person! Hallelujah!
This is where it goes off the skids. The person asks me THE SAME QUESTIONS. If this story ended here I would be annoyed, but the story would never have been written. As I was routed through three different departments - weren’t the automated prompts supposed to intelligently route me to the proper department and therefore NOT WASTE MY DAMN TIME?! - I was asked the same data each time. Each department seemed blissfully ignorant to the conveyance of data that they required and I provided. The problems with this process are numerous but the point for this blog is one of common sense.
Do not waste people’s time.
Time is the one component that we cannot simply make more of in this life. We can add resource and we can change scope, but time is finite (okay academics, I realize that by adding resource you can simulate additional time, but remember you cannot make a baby in 4.5 months with two women so bite me!) It’s a pretty simple formula. When you choose to waste your customer’s time, they get pissed. When that customer is a former employee who is also an obnoxious and loudmouthed communicator, you will have your time wasted in return. (Yes, I expressed my displeasure in their process, or lack thereof, and explained how embarrassing it was as an ex-employee who advocates Microsoft solutions to have to interact with a model that sucks this much.)
If you need information from someone, ask for it. Ask for what you need and ask once. This is a basic systems approach. If you choose to go the route of automation, then PLEASE make the automation result in a better overall experience or watch your customers flock to another provider who actually gives a shit about your time.